Pages

Monday, May 10, 2010

best gift













last year, i really really wished that we would get the tiger photo in the corridor. in my desperate pray i asked God to at least give me few tiger pictures. but instead, we were blessed with tiger plus the cute cubs! and quite many pictures of them. God was so so nice to me and my team. and of course, a small team to celebrate my 25th birthday during the field work. so that was pretty awesome.


and now, another year has passed by. after taking care of my colleague of work for two weeks in singapore, (whom later i considered as my brother), i arrived back in indonesia just on time for my 26th birthday. there wasn't any celebration. well, never really had one. sometimes only tiny small celebration with closest friends. but most of the time, i just got through the day like any other ordinary day. 


this year's birthday i feel more less the same. nothing special. well, last year was special because later on in July i got this very very remarkable gift: tiger cubs photos and video in the wild sumatran jungle!. but yeah, this time, doesn't mean i couldn't feel anything. i didn't ask for something in detail (coz i think God knows what i need more than what i want), so i am thankful to received tons of greetings, wishes, kisses and hugs from my family and friends. i feel like i received more and more, even from those i don't know quite well. more specially, i received all those when i feel i make less friends since i started working full time in sumatra almost two years ago. 


then on last friday, spending the day at home and sunset sleeping on my lap, repaying the thursday, the day i should've stayed home and take rest after the little surgery for my wisdom teeth the day before, i scrolled through my photo collection. i didn't notice that within last few months, i had been given two precious chances to take care of two friends when they were critically ill. both are friends from work. 

first was mas kokok, the gis and it coordinator for my office. we both were in bogor in early february for sumatran tiger data analysis. it was only two days workshop and we were supposed to fly back to pekanbaru on 3rd day. but he suddenly fell ill on the 2nd day. he just gradually become paralyzed. i couldn't believe the evening i planned to spent with a friend i met in france five years ago totally changing into hospital stay. i was so worried because i am afraid he'll get worse. after 3 night and 4 days intensive treatment and amazing recovery made by mas kokok, we finally able to make our way back to pekanbaru. 

second was ali, who works in lampung for bukit barisan selatan (bbs) program. i just got back from the field when i found out that he got into hospital in pekanbaru for dengue and typhoid fever. he was supposed to attend a workshop, but just after checked-in, he has high fever and his day ended up in hospital. after a week, we all thought that he was going to be ok. he just need to pass through all the process of dengue fever. high fever, low level of red blood cell, and another fever and you'll be ok. but instead, he was getting worse. two days in intensive care unit didn't bring any progress, even after 16 pouches of 350ml blood transfusion, no difference at all. it was getting harder for him to breath. his red cell fell so low while his white cell rose so high. he was so ill. our office decided to evacuate him immediately to gleneagles hospital in singapore. and i was asked to take care of him and his mother who has just passed through stroke syndrome. i had no idea the situation will have to come into this. ali spent four days at icu with so many devices to his body and 1500ml of liquid pumped out from his lung. the good thing was, he made amazing recovery. his progress even better and faster then what the doctors estimated (doctors? yeah.., there were five doctors for him). after two weeks in total, doctors allowed him to go back home, Indonesia. 

now i realized why i happen to experienced exactly the same thing for two times. i was always feel sorry and guilty because when my grandpa, who i love so much and really means a lot for me, fell ill, i couldn't be there to hold his hand for any single day. he passed away after miserable one month at the hospital. and i couldn't make it to his funeral for the reason beyond my control. 

well, i guess God really knows that i just need those two....

Thursday, May 6, 2010

blue eyes blue

i never never really thought that i would have to realize and admit that yes, he's got the blue eyes. but how come didn't i notice it? i don't know. well, maybe i was just simply never pay attention on the details. or just.. something happened and my mind somehow told me only to forget and let go. whatever it was, speaking bout blue eyes reminds me to a song that i used to like couple of years ago. don't remember exactly when, but just love it. behold.....

blue eyes blue
by: eric clapton
songwriter: diane warren

I thought that you'd be loving me
I thought you were the one who'd stay forever
But now forever's come and gone
And I'm still here alone
'Cause you were only playing
You were only playing with my heart
I was never waiting, I was never waiting for the tears to start
It was you, Who put the clouds around me
It was you, Who made the tears fall down
It was you, Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, it was you
Who made my blue eyes blue
Oh, Never should have trusted you


I thought that I'd be all you need
In your eyes I thought I saw my heaven
And now my heavens gone away
And I'm out in the cold
'Cause you had me believing
You had me believing in a lie
Guess I couldn't see it
Guess I couldn't see it till I saw goodbye
It was you, Who put the clouds around me
It was you, Who made the tears fall down
It was you, Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, it was you
Who made my blue eyes blue
Oh, Never should have trusted you


' Cause you were only playing
You were only playing with my heart
I was never waiting
I was never waiting for the tears to start
It was you, Who put the clouds around me
It was you, It was you
Who put those clouds around me
It was you, Who made the tears fall down
Only you, Who broke my heart in pieces
It was you, It was you
Who made my blue eyes blue


oh, never should have trusted you
oh, never should have trusted you
oh, never should have trusted you
oh, never should have trusted you
----
p.s. there is no relation between the paragraph i wrote and the song. coz hey, i have the  very dark brown eyes ;-)