am i feeling dejavu? such feeling of having already experienced the present situation?. no, i am not. i am currently in the situation where i remember exactly i was in this situation last year at the exact same month.
i know since last year some people labelled me overruled by my own team. some people think that i ask too many things. and they said i am too demanding. perhaps they're right.., at a part.
but, guess i don't care whatever they want to say. i have nothing to loose.
only, a friend reminded me last night that i have to be extra careful because whatever i am doing, whatever the thing i believe its true and i am seeking (read: demanding) an explanation for it, might cause an innocent victim.
yes, this is my first time working in non governmental organization where like other NGOs, they said, the funding security has always been a major challenge. that makes somethings are never perfect in terms of social security insurance. but then could it be become an excuses over and over again? when at the same time i see it with my eyes some expenses were made for luxury of high level meetings and trips?
the previous coordinator told me that this organization is very dynamic. sometimes over too dynamic. but he forgot to tell me that i have to be at my toughest level. especially when the blank spots are unfolded one by one as the time goes by.
the truth is, it is not healthy to have always deal with things that should've settled long before. the root cause has to be fixed. otherwise, this little critical issue one after another will keep bugging on.
but how to expect perfectness when the whole world was created with blanks here and there?
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